Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

2 North Texas malls rank among the best malls in the U.S. that 'elevate the shopping experience' - WFAA

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

These Diabetes Drugs Are Finding New Life as an Antiaging Hack - WSJ

I can count

I have a reading level above third grade

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What is your secret to glowing skin?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Summer Game Fest June 2025: Everything announced - Eurogamer

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Heads up! Midnight 16GB 13-inch M4 MacBook Air just dropped again to $800 all-time low ($199 off) - 9to5Toys

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Most people obey arbitrary rules even when it's not in their interest to do so, experiments show - Phys.org

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

31 Little Upgrades To Your Day-To-Day That Won't Sound Life-Changing…Until You Try Them - BuzzFeed

I can read

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Feature: 11 Games With 'Secret' Performance Bumps You Should Revisit On Switch 2 - Nintendo Life

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

What is the best case of “You just picked a fight with the wrong person” that you've witnessed?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Lynn Hamilton Dies: ‘The Waltons’ & ‘Sanford And Son’ Actress Was 95 - Deadline

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy bullshit

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I see through liars

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP